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Canso Causeway Stuck Open After Whale Gets Jammed In Bridge

Early this morning around 6:30 AM, the Canso Causeway bridge experienced an unexpected malfunction that has left it stuck open, causing major traffic headaches for motorists on both the mainland and Cape Breton sides of the causeway.

According to reports, a whale had gotten too close to the bridge’s equipment, causing it to malfunction and become stuck in the open position. Unfortunately, the whale did not survive the incident.

Engineers from the Department of Transportation and Infrastructure Renewal are currently working to clear the whale and repair the bridge’s swing mechanism, but it is unclear when it will be fully operational again.

On the mainland side of the crossing, the employees at Irving Big Stop are working tirelessly to keep up with the demand, serving up plates of hot food to hungry patrons. “We’re definitely busier than usual,” said one waitress. “But it’s good to see people coming together and helping each other out during this unexpected situation.”

In the meantime, traffic is backed up for kilometers on both sides of the causeway, with frustrated motorists. However, one local from Auld’s Cove, Archie MacPhee, has taken advantage of the situation and is using his fishing boat to ferry people back and forth across the Canso Strait for $5 per person.

When asked about his new business venture, MacPhee had this to say: “I figured, why not make the best of a bad situation? People need to get across the strait, and I need to make some money. Plus, I’m not claiming it on my EI report, so it’s a win-win for everyone!”

As word of MacPhee’s ferry service spreads, more and more stranded motorists are opting to take the boat rather than wait for the bridge to be fixed.

Despite the chaos and confusion caused by the stuck open bridge, locals are taking it all in stride and finding humor in the situation. As one stranded motorist put it, “At least we can say we were there when a whale shut down the Canso Causeway! And thanks to Archie, we’ll still make it to Cape Breton in time for the ceilidh.”

We hope you enjoyed our whale of a tale! April fools!

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